Friday, June 17, 2011


“ Vaga… vaga… vagabond, vagabond of your dream…….
Imposter is you not me…..
Sybaritan is you not me…. ”

- And the alarm rings right at 7:00 am. Why these machines are so punctual ? It could have been waited 10 more minutes for me to snooze… We always say “why so punctual ?” , but then, if they wouldn’t have been so punctual, this world wouldn’t be what it is today. Technology today is more in application to protect the rights of innocents than to supplement our progress for which it all started. But again we are left with no options as this world ain’t a place of good Samaritans or sherifs rather its full of ____.. Without technology this planet would have been just another island of misanthropes and perfidious beings. Although its still the same. Willy-nilly, we all experience and witness profligacy regularly in our daily life.

“Whaaatt..” “Whaat kind of song was that ? ” – I asked to myself and it was more than just disgust. Anybody witnessing my oust of disgust on my face at that moment would have peed right there.. “Shit..” – and I seized the alarm. This was the start of my day.  7:05 – early morning – moderate temperature –fresh but not so gentle breeze from the near by park. It was only couple of weeks that winter bid adieu..

“Gonna kill this guy..” – I muttered to myself.  I was gifted this alarm clock by one of my colleague last night as my birthday present and he asked me not to listen the alarming note of it and keep that thing as a surprise for the morning.. “This was the surprise !!!”.  You never expect your Sunday to start this way. But this wasn’t over yet. What I am going to tell you next, is something that you would never wish to have as a start for any other day either.

“Charlie… Chaarliee… Charliee my darling..” “Where are you ?” “Come to me..” – it wasn’t me. It was call of Ms. Vito – 47 year old lady – teacher by profession in a school named Ecole active Biling : one of the best in paris. She used to visit my garden daily to look for her pet cat – CHARLIE. Yes this was the name of her cat. She got two – one male and one female, and guess what was the name for her female darling – Angel. I think she likd the film Charlie’s Angels - a lot .  It was only 2 months I got transferred to Paris by my company and for the past two months I wake up to this call of Miss Vito. That mr. Charlie had a habit of taking a “morning walk” in my garden and then peeing on plants – DAILY.

I was still feeling dizzy and was struggling hard to get out of that cosy quilt but then something fell down from my almirah. I turned around and….. it was CHARLIE standing calmly on my desk.
”You don’t belong here, buddy!” Then I looked down on the floor to enquire about the thing that fell down – it was my Golden Trophy, the only one I earned during my entire academic life for securing first position in extempore during my higher secondary days. Then I transferred my gaze back on Mr. Charlie and I noticed that something was wet there around her on my desk….water!!…. juice….!! n then I realized…..
“Shiittttt….””oh ! god..”  --  
she peed on my only trophy.
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” “grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” “Now that’s a felony and you sure gonaa regret that”,“This is the limit mr. Charlie…. You need a lesson today” and I spranged out of my bed. “Stay right there buddy… u gonna learn the most memorable lesson of your life this very morning..” – and I rushed to my kitchen. I was fed up of his activities around my garden but today he stepped in my bedroom. I took a woodstick mixer with me and gently came out of the kitchen. That adamant CAT was still standing right there. He had no fear but he will after this day. Ofcourse I wasn’t going to beat  that filthy creature but a bit of drama was required to teach him manners.
Mrs Vito : “Charlie… where are you ?”
Me : “Its in here Mrs Vito..”, Mrs vito was standing by my kitchen window. She could have got a sight of that tool in my hand with her Charlie in front of him but she just missed it. I opened up the door to find her right in front of me with a sweet smile on her face and a silver colored wooden stick in her hand. She had a history of severe spondylitis.
Mrs. Vito : Bon jour, young boy.
Me : Bon jour madame.
Mrs. Vito : “Where is he ?”
Me : “Ici” – I learned a bit of French before moving to Paris.
Mrs. Vito : “Oh! I am really sorry for that disturbance Mr. Vrishob” – that wasn’t my name. “I never knew she would enter your house….. I.. ii am real sorry for that.” – what can you say when a 47 year old lady is apologizing in front of you. But that doesn’t mean that her cats can continue with their mischiefs.
Me : “Its..its ok..”, ” De rien”
Mrs. Vito : “whats that in your hand ?” “you up to cooking this early morning ?”
Me :  “Oh!..oh.. no oh.. n.nnoo… actually yes…. no”, “I think you are getting late for your school madam.”
Mrs. Vito : “oh yes.. I should leave now..” – and she gently took my leave. But this shouldn’t go like that.
Mrs. Vito was about to step of my lawn when I called her back .. “Mrs. Vito ! wait!” – and I ran towards her.
Mrs. Vito : “Yes!”
Me(sticking with a gentle smile on my face) : “can you please warn Mr. Charlie in a way that he can understand that if he steps again in my garden to take that leisurely walk every morning and if he ever dares to drop even a single drop of his drops on my plants then I am gonna kill him!”
Now that was jaw dropping for Mrs. Vito and something she never expected from me.
Mrs. Vito : “O young lad! You are getting rude on that sweet little cute cat!”
Me : “RUUUUDE !!”, “I think I have been extremely gentle for past two months madame.” “I deserve a NOBLE for being so noble.”
Mrs. Vito(laughs a bit) : “o ofcourse you are a good man, son …”
Me : “And your sweet little cute Mr. Charlie today peed on my only trophy and pushed it off the desk on THE FLOOR !”
Mrs. Vito : “aaaaa… I am really sorry son… don get angry on that little fellow.. you are such a good neighbor … wont you excuse your old aunt, boy ?”
Me : “hmmm.. ..ofcourse.. do I have an option ?”, and we laughed together for a couple of seconds.
Mrs. Vito : “Have a good day son.. bbye”
Me : “gud bye Mrs. Vito ”, “and its VRRISHAAAV not VRISHOOV.” – VRISHAV was my name and still.

“She should get a chamber pot for them” – I whispered to myself.

Next morning it was all calm. Atleast didn’t get to hear Miss Vito looking for her CHARLIE or ANGEL in my lawn. Woke up at 6,  as i had to go for work.

story continues... next installment COMING SOON. :)